How I Gained The Weight

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It was around Five that I started noticing myself getting bigger. That was around the time I was allowed to get food on my own. I would eat snack cakes and chips and always loved sweet tea to drink in my mason jar. It was like that everyday and some days it was too much. You see it wasn't just my fault, I was taught to eat a lot. After every home cooked meal I was always told to get seconds and sometimes thirds. We never saw anything wrong with someone eating until they were full and if we could get out of storing away left overs then my family was happy. The problem was I loved food so much I ate until I was sick and I started relating the feeling of being sick to being full.

It wasn't until my teen years that I realized it was the food that made me happy. In fact if it wasn't for my love of food I would have been worse off than I already was. I was bullied a lot in school for being overweight and it hurt a lot. It hurt so much that I would eat a whole bag of chips and drink 3 sodas in an hour. At age 11 I was diagnosed with a mental illness and food was the band aid I preferred. Food was the almighty substance of pure please. In fact I dare say it was that kind of thinking that eventually caused me to become addicted to food.

By the time I was an adult I had already gained up to 400lbs and by the time I was 24 I was over 500lbs and had a number of health problems. I became a full fledged addict. Food was my whole day and I lived to eat. I love my children and wife but food is up there as well. When I need a quick fix I dive in to my favorite chocolate bar or pizza or anything covered in butter and cheese. Food is too much to overcome sometimes. I tried dieting and believe me I've done it all. Food always wins though and I shoot up with all the happiness food brings me. The problem is food is a band aid like I said earlier and as such once its yanked off it hurts again.

I eventually lost 80 lbs but quickly gained it back. The problem was I kept gaining and soon was up to 580 lbs. I was a mess and needed serious help. I quickly searched for a doctor that would take me on as a patient for Bariatric Surgery. After 6 grueling months I was scheduled for the Gastric Sleeve. Through the Sleeve I lost down to 440 lbs. Now I am facing trouble again just 2 years later as I am up 20 lbs. I hate being addicted to food and I feel like a failure. How did I go from that average weight 5 year old to this super morbidly obese monster? It is my fault for not changing my ways and it is me who has to take my life back. I must make the changes necessary for me to live longer and happier.

I am currently trying to get a revision from the Gastric Sleeve to a Gastric Bypass in hopes that it will give me the added strength to lose the weight and finally be what I need to be for my children and wife. It will take hard work and dedication to keep to a plan. No matter what, I have to keep trying. If I stop trying then I might as well be shaking hands with death.

What do we say to the god of death? Not today." - Syrio Forel